New Theft Deterrent

So my friend lives in a pretty bad area...her house has been robbed three times within the past couple of months. When I say "bad area" I mean you can drive around there at any time and literally see the same hookers walking around. There are always super sketchy drug deals going on between cars in the cul-de-sac ...you get the idea. Needless to say, when I park my car there it could potentially be broken into. So as I was parking on her front lawn, I had this brilliant idea. What do crackheads, heroin fiends, hookers, and homeless people all need?
Money. So what you do is you take all your spare change and sprinkle it around your car. That way, if they walk up to your car with intentions to rob it...they see the change on the ground and collect it all. By the time they are done, they are so happy with the money they've found that they decide not to break into your car! BOOM. Theft deterrent.

*Note: It could be a hassle if no one tries to rob you because then you are left to pick up all of your change.

It all makes sense!

Did you know that long ago wisdom teeth were not removed and they were actually used as a third set of molars? As our brains have evolved and become larger, our jawbone structure has changed and our mouths have become more crowded (hence the wisdom teeth are usually removed). I've always wondered why my head is so enormous and my mouth is so small...turns out that my brain is just bigger than yours.

Plan B couldn't stop me from living, and neither can you!!

Chaos

My mind is always racing, and it's never the winner.

Unoriginal

So there was this commercial for a show called "Extreme Chef" where they have to cook food on a hot car motor, but I'm pretty sure that's just called being homeless....and they've been doing it for decades...

Million Dollar Idea

I'm always doing my best to come up with get-rich-quick schemes and multi-million dollar ideas. My latest concept can be summarized in just 3 words:
JUSTIN. BIEBER. CONDOMS.

I have yet to decide whether or not they will sing, but they will be available at all dollar stores because everyone should be able to afford safe sex.

Wine-o

So a new study has shown that drinking wine can increase your bone density. Why does science continually encourage my drinking habits? Although, I have to wonder if this study holds true for cheap boxed wine...

Once upon a time...

my mom used to take me and my friends/family to the movies. Before we went to the movie theater, she would take us all to the candy store so that we could buy the candy really cheap and sneak it into the movies (she would even sneak in bags of microwavable popcorn). Little did my mom know that she was teaching me how to sneak beer into the movies at an older age. Thanks mom!!

Major Turn Offs

Deal-breakers for me are as follows:

• People that are missing their middle fingers
• People with no eyebrows
• People that walk on stilts 24/7
• People with ear lobe implants
• People who don't like doing interpretive dances
• People who don't like puppies
• People that dress like unicorns
• People that don't sweat
• People that don't eat cake or pizza
• People who are prostitutes for a living

I think it's a great idea..

...for people who live in glass houses to throw stones. I mean--let's face it-- you need to attack them before they get the chance to attack you and knock your wimpy-ass glass house down.

So I've been watching the women's world cup

and is it just me or is Mia Hamm starting to look a lot like Michael Jackson??



maybe he took over her body when he died?

Maybe this comparison has been made before,

but I think that I am a lot like an old puzzle. I have a lot of unique pieces to me, which makes me difficult to put together. However, if you take the time to sit down and put me together, I am a beautiful picture. There are also a few pieces of me missing that people have either broken or walked away with. The broken parts of me can be fixed, but the ones that are gone may never come back. I just need someone who cares enough to try and put me back together and help me fill the voids.

Today someone asked me

what time it was as they leaned towards me and pointed at their wrist. This is perfectly normal, right? Well how would you react if I walked up to you, stuck my butt out, pointed at it, and asked where the bathroom is located? Not so normal, slightly gross and pretty funny, right?

Ahh the English language

When I grow up I am going to name one of my children Psusie. And no, that is not a typo. When people see Psusie's name they will probably pronounce it puh-susie. But the joke's on them because the p is silent, as in pneumonia and psoriasis....geez didn't they learn anything in school?

Lacking

My posts have been lacking (to say the least). Not going to lie..for a while I forgot I had a blog. haha I think part of it is that my brain becomes so consumed with school and all the work and worrying that comes with it that all of my creativity is sucked out of me. Not only that, but I have also been channeling my randomness and creativity into other outlets. Anyways, I doubt anyone cares. My point is that I doing an internship this summer and not taking classes. So my mind is free to wander where it may and I have developed a sort of wanderlust (something I think we all have).

Wanderlust is a strong desire to wander or travel about and explore different places. I think about traveling more and more as graduation approaches. I not only want to travel abroad, but I also want to travel the US. There are so many beautiful nouns (think about it) to see within our own country. Each state has something very unique and special to offer that cannot be found anywhere else. Not to mention the numerous types of cultures within each state.

My fear is that life will get in the way of living. That I will be forced to settle down and get in a routine before I get to experience the world and in turn discover even more about myself.

Which one is it?

I am having a bit of trouble understanding the phrase "once or twice." I guess it's not that I'm having trouble understanding the phrase, but I am having trouble justifying the use of it.
For instance....
If someone asks, "Have you ever been attacked by a squirrel?" and another person responds, "ehh once or twice."  Well was it once? Or was it twice? Is it really that hard to remember whether something occurred one time or two times? Just make a decision. Besides, being attacked by a squirrel should be an extremely memorable experience...right?

I Always Wonder

If people in hell want ice water, then do people in heaven want fire water?