Unoriginal

So there was this commercial for a show called "Extreme Chef" where they have to cook food on a hot car motor, but I'm pretty sure that's just called being homeless....and they've been doing it for decades...

Million Dollar Idea

I'm always doing my best to come up with get-rich-quick schemes and multi-million dollar ideas. My latest concept can be summarized in just 3 words:
JUSTIN. BIEBER. CONDOMS.

I have yet to decide whether or not they will sing, but they will be available at all dollar stores because everyone should be able to afford safe sex.

Wine-o

So a new study has shown that drinking wine can increase your bone density. Why does science continually encourage my drinking habits? Although, I have to wonder if this study holds true for cheap boxed wine...

Once upon a time...

my mom used to take me and my friends/family to the movies. Before we went to the movie theater, she would take us all to the candy store so that we could buy the candy really cheap and sneak it into the movies (she would even sneak in bags of microwavable popcorn). Little did my mom know that she was teaching me how to sneak beer into the movies at an older age. Thanks mom!!

Major Turn Offs

Deal-breakers for me are as follows:

• People that are missing their middle fingers
• People with no eyebrows
• People that walk on stilts 24/7
• People with ear lobe implants
• People who don't like doing interpretive dances
• People who don't like puppies
• People that dress like unicorns
• People that don't sweat
• People that don't eat cake or pizza
• People who are prostitutes for a living

I think it's a great idea..

...for people who live in glass houses to throw stones. I mean--let's face it-- you need to attack them before they get the chance to attack you and knock your wimpy-ass glass house down.

So I've been watching the women's world cup

and is it just me or is Mia Hamm starting to look a lot like Michael Jackson??



maybe he took over her body when he died?